Drunk and Disorderly
by Erandir
Summary: Kink meme fill. Sweden is far too used to bailing Finland out of jail in the middle of the night.


**Title:** Drunk & Disorderly  
**Author:** Erandir  
**Pairing:** Sweden/Finland  
**Rating:** PG-13 for drunkenness  
**Summary:** Kink meme de-anon. OP wanted drunk!Finland trying to play with the band at a Nightwish concert, getting arrested, and then bailed out by Sweden, who is used to this and scares the other inmates. I kind of only did the second half.

* * *

The phone call came at about two o'clock in the morning. It would have woken Sweden, but the man was already awake waiting for the phone to ring. The evening before, his wife – though Finland still denied that relationship, at least in public – had gone off to one of his concerts. Sweden knew what went on at those events, and he was unable to keep himself from worrying about the smaller man's well being every time he decided to go. More than once he had found Finland in a back alley with a bloody nose and smelling like cheap beer.

So when the phone rang in the middle of the night Sweden picked it up after only one ring and pressed the receiver to his ear. "Fin?"

"Berwald?" The voice that came back to him over the phone line was definitely Finland's. He sounded drunk, but that was no big surprise. Somewhere behind him Sweden could hear a crowd. A grunt confirmed to Finland who he was talking to and Sweden could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke up again. "Moi! Were you waiting up for me? Aww," Finland gushed into the phone briefly before something prompted him to get back to the point. "Um… I need you to come get me. And bring your wallet."

Sweden always brought his wallet when he went out, so he was not sure why Finland needed to remind him. "Where're ya?" he asked.

"Um…" Finland hesitated and in the silence Sweden could hear shouting from somewhere in the background, but he could not make out the words. "The police station?" It sounded more like a question than a statement, but Sweden knew that was just his way of trying to soften the blow.

The tall man sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Not again. "'lright," he mumbled, standing up from the sofa where he had spent the past few hours pretending to watch infomercials. "I'll b' there soon."

"Thank you, Berwald," Finland sing-songed from the other end of the line, and then hung up without waiting for a response.

Sweden set the phone back down in its cradle and headed for the door, grabbing his coat and his car keys. He remembered what venue Finland was supposedly going to for the concert and knew which police station was closest, so it did not worry him that Finland had not given any specifics about his location. This was not the first time he had bailed his wife out of jail in the middle of the night after a drunken bender. But he did wonder what the smaller man had gotten himself into this time.

* * *

He had been to this police station before. Sweden recognized it. And as he walked up to the desk to inquire about Finland he tried to remember if the past visit had been like this one, or in a more official capacity. He couldn't remember, though.

"D'you have a Tino Väinämöinen 'n custody? Brought in t'night?" he asked the frazzled looking police officer that sat at the reception desk.

"Just a minute," the officer quickly looked away from Sweden and started searching through a pile of paperwork. Sweden waited, not realizing how frightening his expression had become as he glowered at the desk in front of him. He really hoped Finland was here and that he could get him home with no trouble. Then the desk officer spoke up again. "Yes, we do have Mr. Väinämöinen in custody."

Sweden breathed a sigh of relief. "M' here t' bail 'im out," he replied.

* * *

"Berwald!" Finland beamed when he spotted the taller nation. He had been locked in a holding cell with four other men, all in various states of inebriation. One was unconscious, drooling on the metal bench he was sleeping on, one had a broken nose and a black eye which he was nursing with a wet towel, and the other two were just sitting there looking miserable. Finland's smile was out of place. "Moi~" he gushed as the guard pulled the door open, "Did you come to take me home?"

Sweden grunted in reply and nodded curtly. The three conscious detainees turned their attention to the tall man briefly. The injured one tried to scoot farther away from the door and ended up shoving one of the others off the bench and onto the floor.

Finland, of course, was completely oblivious to his cellmates' plight as he pushed himself to his feet. For once the small nation was completely immune to Sweden's fearsome scowl. He walked right up to the tall man and wrapped his arms around his chest. "Let's go home," he grinned and hung off Sweden while he was pulled out of the cell and the door locked again behind him.

* * *

Sweden practically dragged Finland out of the police station and to the car. As soon as they stepped outside Finland decided that he rather liked the station and did not want to leave and kept trying to go back as Sweden pulled him across the parking lot. Eventually Sweden gave up and carried him the last few paces. Then he set Finland down in the front passenger's seat and buckled him in carefully. He knew Finland did not have enough dexterity to undo the buckle and open the car door without some serious work, but still rounded the car quickly to get them on their way. Only when they were moving did Finland stop trying to escape.

"What'd ya do?" Sweden could not help asking as he pulled out of the parking lot. The officers he had spoken to at the station only used official terms. 'Drunk and disorderly'; 'disturbing the peace'.

"Nothing bad," Finland insisted, and his head lulled to the side as he turned to look out the window, forehead pressed against the glass. "I just wanted to play with the band. Stupid security guards wouldn't let us have any fun."

Sweden sighed.

Finland passed out on the car ride home. He woke up again as Sweden was carrying him inside and blinked sleepily. "Hey, I can walk by myself, you know," he declared when he realized what was going on, his voice entirely too loud for the time of night. Sweden ignored him, even as Finland wriggled and tried to squirm his way out of the taller man's arms.

Sweden didn't put him down until they reached the bedroom. Finland wavered on his feet, holding his hands out for balance and blinking owlishly. "Why's it spinning?" he asked no one in particular. "Oh, bed!"

At this point Finland decided he was sleepy and stumbled toward the bed. He tripped over his own feet and fell, but thankfully only face planted into the mattress and not the floor. With another sigh, Sweden went over the help him onto the bed and began stripping off the smaller man's clothing. First went his shoes and socks, but when he started to remove the Finn's pants the smaller nation burst into a fit of giggles. "Berwald, thought you didn't like to do it when I drink?" He laughed and wiggled his hips suggestively. "I don't mind."

But Sweden continued to ignore him, or at least tried to, and worked as quickly as he could to remove Finland's clothing so he could sleep comfortably. It was made difficult as Finland kept pawing at him, but the small man eventually gave up his half-hearted efforts to get some action that night. By the time Sweden had tossed all his clothes in the laundry hamper Finland looked ready to go back to sleep. So he carefully tucked the small man into bed, making sure that he would be warm and comfortable through the night.

"I love you," Finland purred as he snuggled into the pillows.

He was asleep before he could hear Sweden's reply.


End file.
